Soon, soon i will not have to wait anymore.
That is all i can think about,
not having to wait or depend ...
on anyone.
What are feelings anyways?
not emotions, those are different.
I don't need to cry anymore.
I gave up needless emotions.
What do i feel?

Another year older.
One of the biggest ones in a lifetime they say.
"oh, to be 16 and free,"
but now i am on the eighteen...
i wonder what will happen since i denounced fake friends.

I feel weird again,
but i am not going to tell him this time,
instead i go to bed
with a burning throat,
and a nonexistent regret in my belly.

When will i be able to scream?
just scream.
i don't think i ever have.
i don't think i even could.
can my voice utter anything past a whisper?

Look up Scroobius Pip,
because he is amazing.
now that is a man that knows how to spend his words properly.

I can't wait to find home.
"cause its not my home its their home, and i am welcome no more."

I dislike people sometimes.
How could that be entertaining.
why are all humans sad, dirty pieces of shit on the inside.
you might be able to "see some tits" if you got off your fat ass and actually lived your life instead of perving up the internet.
it is a sad world.

I am lucky.

So fuck.
Just fuck.
I am sick of this.
Literally sick.
I am tired of hiding, forcing, and fighting.
Why?
I just did not fucking want it,
But I shoved it in,
Because of them.
I need to hide,
Or escape for a long time.
I need air, light, mobility.
I can not fucking handle this.

I am screaming for freedom,
But I have been too far consumed to be audible.
A low, sullen "eep" is all i can muster...

grazing eyes,
felt across table lengths.
if hopes ran true,
a clue might drop
once you've escaped view
as to who.
too nervous for direct contact,
I stick to my tender mocha mug.
sip, sip...still staring.
from where did you appear?
could it be for me?
Impossible ideas,
to keep a fretted mind at ease.
Fresh tea, I see!
how the steam arouses those
baby-steel eyes.
wrinkles hint at what they've seen,
as i read each crease.
how old must Stranger be?
must turn face,
as not to draw attention.
would agendas force us
to cross paths once again?
Fate, be mon ami!
flick, goes another page.
choice of the day?
nothing more I desire,
than to break these table lengths,
coo over those same words,
taste the bittered tea.
what is your taste?

grazing eyes
across table lengths
join my unconditioned face.
slide, the garden chair goes in.
Gliding, shimmer-body
replaces my soleil of the day.
silent exchange of favorable liquids,
leaves me with tea.
so bottom's up for the company.
with this being said,
i drank in that cafe man.